Making and maintaining friendships as a military spouse is no small feat.
Amid the constant moves, deployments, and life transitions, the bonds we form with fellow spouses often become a crucial support system. But how do you build these relationships when your circumstances seem to change as frequently as the seasons? Here’s a Salty guide to making military spouse friendships, navigating the challenges they bring, and keeping these connections strong, no matter the distance.
Finding Your Salty Squad: The Art of Making Friends
Making friends as a military spouse can sometimes feel like speed dating at a three-ring circus. You’re constantly meeting new people, trying to gauge compatibility, all while juggling a million other responsibilities when life is life-ing. But here’s the secret: EVERYONE else is in the same boat. Start by attending events on base, volunteering, or joining spouse groups related to your interests. Strike up conversations wherever you go—whether it’s at the commissary or during a workout at the gym. You’d be surprised how a simple “hello” can lead to lasting friendships. Remember, it’s not about finding a carbon copy of yourself but someone whose quirks complement your own. Embrace the diverse backgrounds and experiences of fellow spouses to build a robust and dynamic support network.
The Challenges of Maintaining Military Spouse Friendships
Just like any other relationship, military spouse friendships come with their unique set of challenges. With PCS moves, deployments, and changing schedules, maintaining these bonds can be difficult. Communication is key—openly discuss your expectations and recognize that friendships may ebb and flow as life circumstances change. Be patient and flexible, understanding that each of you is navigating similar waters. Also, be mindful of the comparison trap; it’s easy to feel envious of others who seem to have it all figured out. Instead of comparing, focus on nurturing your friendships by actively supporting each other through life’s ups and downs. Remember, friendship isn’t about constant proximity; it’s about being there when it counts, even as pocket friends.
Keeping Friendships Strong Across the Miles
Long-distance friendships are inevitable in military life, but they don’t have to fade away with the distance. Technology is your trusty tool here—use video calls, instant messaging, and social media to stay connected regularly. Share snippets of your life, whether it’s photos of your new home or updates on family adventures. Engage in virtual activities like watching a movie together or even cooking the same meal while chatting over video. Don’t underestimate the power of snail mail, either. Sending a handwritten letter or a care package filled with inside jokes and thoughtful items can make your friend feel loved and remembered. Distance might separate you physically, but staying emotionally connected keeps the friendship thriving.
Dealing with Friendship Fallout: When It’s Time to Let Go
Not all friendships will last forever, and that’s okay. Military life can test relationships in unexpected ways, and sometimes it’s necessary to let go for your own well-being. If you find yourself constantly giving without receiving or dealing with negativity and drama, it might be time to re-evaluate the friendship. Ending a friendship doesn’t mean you failed; it means you’re prioritizing healthy connections. Approach these situations with empathy and honesty, acknowledging that people grow and change over time. Allow yourself to grieve the friendship, but also remain open to new connections. Remember, every friendship teaches you something valuable, even if it doesn’t last forever.
Celebrating the Your Squad: Strength in Numbers
At the end of the day, military spouse friendships are a powerful testament to resilience and adaptability. They offer an unspoken understanding of the unique challenges we face and provide a sense of belonging in a constantly changing world. Celebrate your friendships by cherishing the moments you share, whether big or small. Organize get-togethers, create traditions, and be each other’s support system through thick and thin. These friendships become a lifeline—a reminder that you’re not alone in this journey. So, raise a glass to your salty squad, embrace the laughter, the tears, and the adventures ahead, knowing that together, you can conquer anything military life throws your way. Cheers to friendships that stand the test of time and distance!
Looking for a little more encouragement? Head over to our podcast for the lastest episodes on all things military spouse life.
